Category Archives: diet

Shrinking

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I was small and the world was big.

 

One morning recently I awoke early after a restless night of feeling hungry and shrinking. Yes shrinking! I was about half way through the “Catherine’s  Cabbage Soup Diet” and I could feel changes (even if nobody else could see them). So I was awake and the first thing that came into my mind made me laugh…

 

Strangely, I was remembering back to a time when I really was small, three years old I guess, and Henry was a baby in the pram; my sister Mary must have just started school because she wasn’t with us as we were walking home down Molle Road. Now I happened to be an excruciatingly shy little girl who wouldn’t speak to strangers; I’d run away or hide, often under Mum’s skirts if there was nowhere else to hide. However, on this occasion I didn’t run away when we met a group of ladies coming out of Mrs Cottrell’s place… and one of them had a pram.

 

I didn’t speak of course but I stood by the pram, just as Mum did, and looked inside at the new baby. Young as I was, I knew what a beautiful baby looked like – my baby brother Henry was soft, round and bonny – so I hadn’t been prepared for the sight of the alien little creature in the pram. The baby was bald and pale with a face and skin so thin that all his veins showed through as blue as his sad watery eyes.

 

“Mum,” I whispered as I tugged on my mother’s gathered skirt to get her attention,”Isn’t that a funny looking baby?”

 

My  mother wouldn’t answer so I tugged again.

 

“Mum,” I whispered slightly louder. “Isn’t that a funny looking baby?”

 

My mother reached down and pushed my hand from her skirt but said nothing. I couldn’t understand why she didn’t seem to hear me.

 

“Mummy!” I shouted whilst pulling at her dress. “Don’t you think it’s a funny looking baby?”

 

Silence. Oh dear! Everybody looked at me. Mum squirmed and I realised I had said the wrong thing. I was too young to make amends so I did the next best thing and disappeared inside Mum’s voluminous gathered skirt where no-one could see me. I knew my mother’s legs quite well in those days… when I small.

 

Nowadays the world doesn’t seem nearly so big and, after a week on “Catherine’s Cabbage Soup Diet”, neither am I. I’ve lost seven pounds. The tricky thing will be to keep it off, especially as we’re on holiday in Spain at this very moment. Actually, I’m hoping to shrink a bit more.‍

 

 

 

Eureka, Two Pounds Lost Overnight!

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I had a feeling that the Yukon Dukan Diet, strictly adhered to, would do the trick; that and eight hours of back-breaking work in the garden yesterday. I wonder how many calories I burned off. Okay, I was so stiff that I could hardly get out of bed this morning but after dragging myself upstairs and onto the dreaded scales I nearly jumped for joy. It’s amazing what a little weight loss can do for your morale.

I really hope that the Dukan Diet played some part in the process because I don’t think my body could stand spending every day in such a way (stand being the operative word), even if I could bear not having fruit or tasty carbohydrates for evermore. After breakfast of porridge again (horrible porridge – surely there are nicer ways to have one’s oats?) I thought I’d limber up by cycling to the gym where I spent nearly an hour on the cross-country machine and the rower. In order to take my mind off the pain, boredom or any annoyances in the gym, I listened to Ray Bradbury’s 1968 UCLA speech, which I find very inspirational and motivating because the famous author encouraged young Americans to follow their dreams… and my present dream is to be thinner.

It was a lot easier going home – downhill.

I spent the rest of the day productively doing my own creative thing (Ray Bradbury would be pleased… if he was alive, which he isn’t) but I have to admit that I’ve been sat down all afternoon. Now I must get up and walk stiffly to the kitchen. It’s chicken breast for dinner – that and no accompaniments. Ah well, “no pain, no gain”. It should be “loss” not “gain”; just hope there will be no gain again or I shall be at a loss.

And here is a photo of today’s artwork…

7 final option - larger Kai - brown tintl

 

If Anyone Can, Dukan

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I hate scales! I’m not referring to fish scales, of course, or “scales from the eyes” (although I do need enlightenment), or musical scales (they would be great… if only I were musical); not kitchen scales either (though occasionally I use them when making ultra light sponges); no, you know the ones I mean. So how can I keep putting on weight when I’m nearly always on a diet and going to the gym three or four times a week (lately, anyway)? After gingerly standing on the nasty bathroom scales this morning I felt quite out of sorts; no manner of position changing, standing on one foot or holding my breath made any difference.The unpleasant experience – and ensuing lack of food – left me feeling desperate all day.

It was a sunny start and I had intended to go for a cycle ride followed by a session at the gym but then I looked at our leaf-strewn and straggly-looking courtyard garden, the dirty outside steps and the bedraggled balcony garden… It was plain to see that my time would be better spent working on the jobs in dire need of attention. Besides which, there would be constant bending, lifting and going up and down stairs – like a long and arduous workout but with something to show at the end for all the effort .

“I’m going back on the Dukan Diet,” I announced to Chris as I went to the fridge and found some porridge left-over from yesterday.

“You are the only one with the gloomy view of you. The rest of us think you’re lovely and curvy,” Chris tried to cheer me up.

People always say you’re “lovely and curvy” when they mean fat but attractive in spite of the extra inches – don’t they? I’ve often thought I should live in Tonga or any of the Pacific islands, where I might be regarded as fairly slim, but then I’d never diet and I wouldn’t be relatively slim anymore.

Still I mustn’t be ungrateful because I’m really quite fit and healthy and have all my limbs (even though they ache after today’s toil). But I am going to stay on the protein based Dukan Diet for at least five days, two days longer than many other attempts, which will bring me to Friday night when we’re going to a dinner party! Apparently baked salmon is on the menu – I do hope there won’t be any scales. You know how I hate scales.

The Yukon Diet!

 

The Cavewoman Diet Nearly Four Months On

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If you read my blog post, “The Cavewoman Diet” (published on the twenty-eighth of June this year), you may well have been wondering how I fared; indeed, you might imagine that by now I have achieved my goal and am currently looking like Raquel Welch and running around in a fur bikini. Well… I was terribly good and and the weight dropped off, one whole pound, and I thought I was on my way. I fought all manner of temptations for at least three days – or was it two?  By then my body had realised that I was trying to trick it into shedding weight and it wouldn’t give an inch! At last, after a great deal of self-denial and blue berries, which were rather expensive (the blackberries weren’t out yet), I must admit that I gave up and went onto another, less severe, diet.

Nearly four months on I feel obliged to report that I had a change of heart regards my role-model, which changed my line of thinking. And speaking of lines…. after seeing my screen idol Raquel Welch at seventy-something being interviewed on television I decided that, although beautiful and less lined than thirty years ago, she was a little too thin and “plastic” for my liking. Besides, what’s wrong with a more natural look?

Yes, I am thrilled to be able to tell you that my current new diet fad has been incredibly successful. The “FAST Diet” is the natural way to becoming the new natural you. Don’t worry, there is no fasting involved, nor, indeed, is it particularly speedy. “FAST” is an acronym for Fatty Arbuckle’s Sister Tubby, not to be confused with “The BBC Diet” (Billy Bunter’s Culinary Diet). The diet requires you to avoid bread, butter, potatoes and all sugary foods including cakes and biscuits, unless, of course, there is nothing else in the house, or you’re dining out, or just plain starving.

My new role model, Tubby Arbuckle, is pleasantly chubby, will outlast Raquel in times of famine, and doesn’t need plastic surgery because her pretty round face is filled out like a moon.

Confidentially, (if that’s possible with a blog), I hope not to become quite as rotund as Tubby or her brother Fatty Arbuckle! And if you’re unfamiliar with the name Arbuckle, Fatty Arbuckle was a silent movie star.