Chris and I are in accord about many subjects. We think alike. I don’t know if that was part of the attraction when Cupid struck over twenty years ago, or could it be the two decades together which have made us so thoroughly interwoven that we think as one? Of course the latter isn’t entirely true; an occasional bad Hera* day on my part may make Chris unusually Mercurial, if not Saturnine, and then it seems like I’m from Venus and he’s from Mars… But we agree on most things, especially when it comes to food.

We’re both a bit cagey about meat these days; we don’t like it too meaty in flavour or too tough and chewy, and no fat please (we are not Mr and Mrs Jack Sprat either). In fact I’ve been decidedly worried since I learnt that mother cows, after a lifetime of service giving birth to calves and providing milk for the public, give the ultimate sacrifice and end up on people’s plates. I don’t know why it should be so but somehow it seems less barbaric to eat a young steer brought into the world for that purpose (and he would be nice and tender!).

Funnily enough, only this morning I was talking to Adonis Brian at the Leisure Centre about meat and, in particular, the difference between the quality of produce from Australia compared to England. In case you think that is an odd topic of conversation to have with a gorgeous man in the gym… well, it has nothing to do with either of us being epicureans, rather, we were talking about our respective recent trips to Australia and the notable differences between the two countries. We agreed that it is far better to have a small amount of something good than large amounts of inferior food.

Upon arriving home from the gym, having burnt off about 350 calories, I was starving. Sensing this (being so like-minded we have little need for words these days) Chris asked:

“How do fancy some of that fillet steak we bought on Saturday? Then we won’t need to cook later.”

It was an exceptionally small piece of steak – under four ounces (my name is not Edesia*)- and cost the princely sum of four pounds; at that price it had to be good!

Whilst observing the six tiny fillet medallions flash-frying in the grill pan I had my suspicions. They didn’t look unctuous and inviting. Did I see some sinew running through the meat? Sinew is rather akin to gristle – isn’t it? I tasted the smallest piece, which I had earmarked for myself anyway, and I decided not to say anything to Chris lest it should put him off the tasty morsels he had been looking forward to (my husband is very susceptible to any dubious comments from me).

Well the lunch looked nice on the table…

“Umm, I’ve been relishing the idea of this!” said Chris picking up his knife and fork.

“Oh no,” I thought but didn’t express outwardly. “Bon appetit!” I said with a smile.

“The mushroom sauce is delicious as usual,” Chris began.

“That’s good,” I answered, wondering if he had actually tried the fillet steak yet.

“Oh…” he said disappointedly after his fork’s first foray into the tiny territory of meat.

“Yes Darling?” I looked at him in apparent surprise. Of course I knew what he was thinking – we are so in-tune after twenty years together – but I think it’s good to let him express himself, otherwise we might lose the art of conversation… (Such as it is after all this time.)

“Is the meat rather tough and gristly?” Chris asked searchingly. And he chewed on the subject for a long time.

At last the meal was finished. Everything was gone except for two and a half little medallions on Chris’s plate and one and a half on mine (I had kindly given Chris the lion’s share).

“Thank goodness for your delicious mushroom sauce!” exclaimed Chris. (He’s not too crazy on boiled cauliflower without the cheese – one little point where we differ.) “But,” he added, “It won’t be wasted – I think I know of three nice dogs on Rosie’s farm who’ll be pleased to chew on the leftovers…”

“Yes,” I laughed, “‘Food of the dogs!'”

Ah Ambrosia… What, no meat?

* Hera – the Greek goddess of marriage.

* Edesia – the Roman goddess of feasting (not to be confused with Obesia!).