It was good to walk home; it gave me time for reflection about what I’d done. I felt like a cross between Tony Soprano (the likable fictitious gangster from “The Sopranos”) and Forest Gump (the likable fictitious fool from the movie “Forest Gump”). You see I lost a friend today, a friend who has been with me nearly all my life… Oh, what rot! I can’t say the words “a friend”, especially after what I did today. Now I shall say “Miss G” because that’s very close to “missing”, which describes Miss G perfectly.

Though I can’t profess to have liked her in particular (or at all, really), I genuinely miss Miss G. Miss G had been with me through thick and thin (mostly thick) and became troublesome only about five months ago, which was when I became suspicious. My suspicions were justified, I hasten to add; nevertheless, I gave Miss G the benefit of the doubt during all those worrisome months and even tried my own “quick fix” tactics. Surely there was something to be done (apart from “the final solution”). Why were the results of my efforts so temporary?

The recent trip to Australia added to the problem. I didn’t know the right people and, besides, the job would have been costly. I had to “bite the bullet” and wait.

Earlier today I spat out the bullet and got the bit between my teeth – the wait was over. Yes, I was ruthless like Tony Soprano and even smiled when I gave the order to have Miss G taken out…

But I felt foolish like Forest Gump as I walked home. I didn’t know how to smile back (now the smile was on the other side of my face) when first a lady greeted me, and a little later when a hirsute man opened his big black beard to say hello and reveal his sparkling pearls. “Hello”, I managed twice through lips thrust forward like a goldfish in order to hide the hole where Miss G had been.

I don’t like to make mountains out of molar-hills but Miss G leaves a great big valley. She was at the back, next to a wisdom tooth, however, with a bit of luck the other teeth will move to fill the gap. Now I must admit that I feel the pain of her loss – not so tough after all.