“Doctor, doctor, I hurt all over!” complained the attractive blonde.

“Well tell me all about it,” said the doctor, ” and show me where it hurts.”

“Ouch,” she cried as she touched her left calf. “Ahh!” she screamed, prodding her right hip. “Ow, ow, ow,” she woofed, gently pressing a finger against her shoulder.

“It sounds painful,” the doctor commiserated.

“Sure is,” the girl seemed pleased to be taken seriously by the experienced professional. “What on Earth is the matter with me? Do you know?”

“It’s hard to say for certain without giving you an X-ray, my dear, but I’m pretty confident that you have a broken finger…”

~~~~~~~~~~~

Did I ever tell you about the time I went to see my lovely doctor about a little problem I was having with my right leg?

“How can I help you Sally?” he asked.

“Well, it’s rather embarrassing,” I began, “and you’ll think I’m imagining things…”

“Try me,” he said, “I’ve heard most things in my time.”

“Okay,” I conceded, “my leg won’t shut up!”

“Very odd,” my doctor stifled a laugh.

“It’s no laughing matter,” I retorted, “just humour me by bending down and listening to my ankle.”

“But Sally….”

“Please Slav…”

So my doctor kneeled down on the floor , which was a bit of an effort seeing as he’s a very tall chap, and he  held my ankle up to his ear. He was about to burst out laughing when my ankle whispered to him:

“Lend us fifty quid!”

“Oh dear,” said my doctor, putting my leg down.

“If you think that’s bad, Slav, just listen to my knee!” I invited.

Still kneeling down, my doctor put his ear close to my knee-cap.

“Lend us a hundred quid!” ordered my knee.

“Dear, dear, dear,” said my doctor tutting, “I’m afraid it’s much worse than I thought originally, Sally. I’m afraid your leg is broke in two places!”