Don’t you just love babies? They are all so beautiful – aren’t they? Well, at least their mothers think so. But, naturally, they can’t all be bonny bouncers and winners of baby competitions…

The other day I was taking a bus ride into Brisbane city centre when a lady came on board with her baby. The driver took one look at the babe in arms and pulled a face of revulsion.

“Ugly little bruiser!” said the driver to himself after the lady had walked a few steps down the aisle. All the same, his whisper was audible halfway down the bus to where I was sitting.

The furious woman plonked herself down in the seat just in front of me. The elderly gentleman next to her was a tad deaf and had missed the inadvertent insult.

“Are you alright?” the old man turned to her and adjusted his hearing aid.

“No I’m not. I’ve never been so insulted in my entire life. Why I’d like to give that driver a piece of my mind!” she added.

“Oh dear,” said the old man, “people nowadays think they can get away with anything. Why don’t you go back and give him a good telling off? I’ll hold your monkey for you…”

(Something like a joke in Brisbane’s Courier Mail newspaper a couple of weeks ago.)