Everything has been running a bit slow at No.5 this morning, not only because of the gloominess of the grey day, but also on account of our colds, especially mine (which is worse than Chris’s).

While I was on my phone a little earlier my eyes were drawn to something brown on the wall outside on the balcony. At first I thought it was a dead leaf stuck on the rough surface but, no, the brown thing moved, and it was heading towards a plant pot. I marvelled that he must have been on the go all night, climbing up the exterior wall to the top of the balustrade; nevertheless, the plants being my priority, I braved the wet outdoors to deal with the stoical slimy snail. In honour of his achievement in almost reaching his goal I took his photograph once on the wall and again on the balustrade, where I placed him in order that he might see the extent of his travails; but he was nervous and tucked his head under his shell. Shortly he was sent flying through the air and into a neighbour’s garden.

Talking of snails and things going slowly, recently a bachelor friend of mine hired an Eastern European lady to do the cleaning. Her work in the kitchen and bathroom was absolutely fine; likewise, dusting and bed-making were jobs that she breezed through. In fact, all chores were done well and within the usual time frame one would normally expect those jobs to take – all except for the hoovering… The new cleaning lady took an astronomical fifteen hours to hoover my friend’s two-bedroom house! He should have been more careful when he looked at her particulars – she was a Slovak!