I expect you think “You’re worth it!” – we’ve been told that so many times by L’Oreal that we actually believe it – but, honestly, how is one to keep up with the latest trend? All the big names in showbiz and modelling now seem to sport enormous hairy eyebrows – and the bigger the eyebrows, the bigger the success! I read in the Daily Express recently that the actress Emma Watson has the best eyebrows, closely followed by Keira Knightly and the model Cara Delevingne (whoever she is). Ah, but now I do know who she is – she’s the model who has eyebrows nearly as good as Emma Watson’s!

Gone are the days when cruel people used to mock the hairy girls – thank goodness – but now that we all want hairy eyebrows, will the less hairy girls be excluded or ridiculed? I certainly hope not… Unfortunately, I’m not all that hairy. However, I reckon I’m worth it so I’m thinking of having an eyebrow transplant (well, if Elton John can have hair transplants…?); the problem will be – how far should I go? I would hate to be outdone by those hairy models and actresses… My mind has been dwelling on Russian presidents and English Chancellors, all from the seventies… But no, at last I hit upon a cheaper solution (although I’m sure I am worth more), and if you look at the photographs you will see what I’ve come up with…

(I had better tell Chris to stop trimming his beauties. I wonder if hairy ears will be the next trend?)