Thanks for this very Australian joke go to Roland from Brisbane.

The Randy Old Couple

A couple of pensioners from out west went to a doctor.

“We have a little problem of a sexual nature,” said the septuagenarian fellow with a sheepish grin, “and we were wondering if we could do it here and you could see if we’re doing it right.”

“But I’m a normal doctor, not a sex therapist!” exclaimed the doctor.

“We know but we were hoping that we could get a first opinion from you,” said the old woman, who seemed quite determined.

So the doctor agreed and the old couple performed with great vigour and lustiness.

“I don’t think you have any sexual problem – your sex life is better than mine,” said the doctor.

“Yes we do,” answered the old man, “it just happened to work out alright this time. Maybe we could come back next week and try again so you can see what we mean?”

Reluctantly, and against the doctor’s inclination (he was no pervert), he at length agreed to another visit of the same nature. Once again, the repeat performance was perfectly normal and lusty. But, yet again, the couple argued that they were a genuine case and implored the doctor to agree to another appointment. The third attempt proved equally as successful and the doctor was suspicious of the couple’s motives.

“You certainly don’t have any sexual problems, ” the doctor said annoyed, “in fact I suspect that you get some perverse pleasure in having me watch you perform.”

“How dare you!” said the old woman and then she turned to the old man, “Tell him!”

“Well, we do have a real problem – we ain’t liars. The truth is that if I take her home to my house the wife is there, and if she takes me home to her house the husband is there; if we went to a motel it would cost us over a hundred dollars and if we come to you it only costs thirty dollars… and we get fifteen dollars back from Medicare!”