With a title like that you might have guessed that I have another joke – and you’d be right. The “Bird-man from Brisbane” left this in a verbal message on my phone this morning and, funnily enough, there were butcher birds singing in the background – it almost made me homesick for Australia!

The Curious Incident…

A teddy bear thought he’d apply for a job he saw in his local paper. He knew it was a bit odd for a teddy to seek employment as a labourer in the council’s road gang but he thought he would give it a go anyway. After all he had nothing to lose.

As luck would have it, the council was quite stupid and extremely P.C. Councillors were rather afraid of losing their good jobs if they weren’t seen to be unbiased and fair, and they had just had a pay rise. Following a lengthy discussion about the many benefits they could foresee by employing a teddy (some councillors thought the other workers in the team would feel “relaxed and unstressed” with a teddy in their midst, whilst one suggested he would be “a wonderful confidant”, and all agreed that the inevitable “group cuddles” would be much nicer than the usual punch-ups in the pub on a Friday night after work. And so it was agreed that Teddy should start work the next Monday.

The foreman wasn’t all that surprised to learn that a teddy bear was to begin work with the gang on Monday – he knew some of the councillors of old. In fact, he rather suspected that the council had plans to sack him and promote the teddy bear to foreman – he knew he would have to watch his back, especially if the bear had anything more than cotton wool for brains.

As it happens, the foreman didn’t need to worry, he found Teddy a most agreeable bear – charming company, well padded and ever so cuddly – and he simply couldn’t imagine a nasty thought coming from that cute teddy bear. They were instant friends, as were the rest of the road gang once they had been reassured that their jobs weren’t ‘on the line’.

Teddy was given his own special tools and a sweet little overall made from yellow and black check material.

Monday was a great success. Teddy worked hard and enjoyed having a nice cup of tea and cakes with the gang at thirty minute intervals (as per usual). Tuesday, too, went well. He brought along some more cakes (and sympathy for some fellows) and he was soon a well-loved member of the team.

Thus is was that poor Teddy was dismayed when he arrived at the store shed on Wednesday morning only to find that his favourite tool had been pinched overnight.

“What’s the matter Ted?” asked the foreman when he saw that the teddy bear was sobbing.

“I don’t really like to go on, but my best tool has gone  – it would be such a relief, not to think one of my friends a thief!”

“Oh Teddy,” laughed the goofy foreman, “don’t you realise that it’s Wednesday? It’s the day that teddy bears have their picks nicked!”