Did you read about the twenty-three year old “Beautiful Curves” beauty queen who recently tweeted the acerbic tycoon Lord Sugar, asking if she could call him Sugar? I very much doubt that Lord Sugar had any idea that the saucy young woman had once been nineteen stone, had since a gastric band fitted, and is now fourteen stone when he tweeted back, “Yes, no problem, as long as I can call you fatty”. Methinks the plus-size model is seeking her fifteen or so minutes of fame.

I fancy that Lord Sugar will have been asked the very same question many times in his sixty-seven years and I’d bet that his response was simply his stock answer. I reckon he might even be familiar with this old joke…

Three couples on holiday in a Spanish hotel shared a table at breakfast. One couple was American, the second was English and the third was Irish.

“Would you pass me the honey, Honey?” asked the handsome Texan in a mellifluous voice.

His pretty wife lowered her head coquettishly and passed her husband the honey.

Continuing the game of flirtation at the breakfast table, the English gentleman asked his wife:

“Would you mind passing the sugar, Sugar?”

His wife nearly fell off her chair with the shock, regained her composure and, with a look of loving concern, passed him the sugar bowl.

Not wishing to be outdone by the silver-tongued men around the table, the Irish husband spoke up:

“Would you pass us the bacon, you big fat pig!”