As I was lying in bed, unable to sleep not only because of the disturbance coming from the sea wall repairs but also from the pangs of hunger, I dwelled upon something Chris had said, not for the first time, recently.
“Sally has a good appetite”, he spoke to our very slim friend Caroline.
At the time we were discussing the eating habits of Caroline’s aging father, with whom she now lives; she was concerned that, although quite hale and hearty, he doesn’t eat well unless she is there to preside over the meals. Our size eight friend looked at me.
“Sally can’t go without food for more than a few hours without going berserk,” Chris exaggerated.
“Five hours or more – it’s to do my pituitary and thyroid glands, not my ‘appetite'”, I tried to explain, yet again (Chris is in the habit of introducing this topic at every occasion that food is mentioned).
But that was some days ago. Now I was back on the Dukan Diet, the only diet that works for me when in England (in Australia I don’t need it – the heat and the life-style suit me better). Now hunger was gnawing at me (not enough protein in the house) and I was lying in bed wondering what Chris had meant by a “good appetite”. Did he mean that my appetite was greater than others? If so, my appetite would often be disappointed by the starch-free, sugar-free regime I continually try to impose on it. Did he mean good for a skinny person but too much for a not so skinny person? Or did he mean a normal healthy appetite? In which case, why mention it at all? And anyway, why not talk about his own appetite, not mine, if he likes the subject so much? Who of us is the secret eater and chocoholic? (I’ll give you two guesses.) I decided I would take him to task in the morning.
Chris has promised never to bring up the subject of my appetite again. He had meant to say “healthy”, of course. For two and half days I have stuck to Dr Dukan’s diet for ascetics and I’ve lost three pounds (not including today’s donation of the same amount to Wikipedia). And next week it will be Christmas – oh joy!
Yes, the word “good” has now been permanently expunged from my lexicon when applied in a dietary context….. or In the words of the great James Brown classic….”I feel healthy..da da da da da-da dah!”