Where is Superwoman when you need her? But perhaps it would have been too much to ask, after all, it was nearly midnight and I was on my way to bed when it happened. You see I had already turned the lights out when I went back to the kitchen to turn off the central heating, and I hadn’t turned on the stair lights because the men in orange were working on the sea wall and might have been distracted by seeing me in my convict-style stripey onesie through our glass front door. Ah, if only I hadn’t been such a prude; if only I hadn’t bothered to switch off the heating (which was about to turn itself off anyway), or my hands hadn’t been full; if only I hadn’t been wearing socks on the carpet, or I hadn’t been in such a hurry.

Luckily (if you can call it luck), take-off occurred from the top of two stairs leading from the kitchen to the hallway… I went flying, head first, through the air like a long-jumper, still holding a glass of water and the newspaper; the water flew out but the cherished glass (one of a set of four – £2.99 at Trago Mills) remained in my hand until landing. It wasn’t the most elegant of landings (not that anyone could see): left knee first (number one brake), then right big toe (silly little brake) and right knee (auxiliary brake) before coming to a stop, accompanied by a thunderous thud and a scream, half-way down the passage.

As quick as a flash, Gordon (Chris) was beside me assessing the damage and administering paracetamols – the same beloved glass I had been so eager to protect from damage proved quite handy as he filled it quickly with fresh water. Despite wearing an all-encompassing onesie, the left brake pad had worn down to almost nothing, but it needed no immediate repairs; the little brake, initially thought to have been broken, might yet prove to be just be a clout on the nail; the auxiliary brake, which saw the least damage, will not be having a knees-up for a few days. Likewise, the gym and walks in the cold will go on hold.

So am I putting my feet up? Not exactly. I was trying to knuckle down to my work when Superwoman called and asked:

“Are my Christmas cards ready yet?”

I had forgotten. Now I could have asked her if she thought I was Superwoman, but I didn’t; I spent all afternoon making super Christmas cards.