With thanks to Roland, the Bird-man of Brisbane, for this joke. Incidentally, for all you ornithologists out there, Roland thinks you should be aware that I made obvious errors in two posts last week by calling the Scaly-breasted Lorikeet  (poor thing!) a Rozella, and by omitting the word ‘Rainbow’ before Lorikeet (see photographs below). Now for the joke…

A barrister was addressing the jury of a murder trial with his summation:

“Members of the jury, we are relying upon your intelligence, discernment and fair-mindedness to come to the only reasonable conclusion – that the accused is innocent. Let’s look at the facts: the evidence is purely circumstantial; reports of the animosity between my client and the alleged victim is hearsay – and therefore not admissible as evidence; and, most importantly, there is no body. Why, at this very moment the alleged victim might walk through that door (he points to the door). What would you think if the alleged victim walked through that door right now? In fact, I ask you now to please spare one minute to look at the door.”

The jurors turned their heads and stared expectantly at the huge courtroom door. The court was so quiet that you could have heard a pin drop. Two minutes passed and, just as the court began to get fidgety, the barrister broke the silence.

“Thank you members of the jury,” the barrister looked pleased instead of crestfallen. “Can you tell me why, if you thought the alleged victim was murdered, you all turned your heads towards the door? I contend that the answer is simple – you don’t believe that he was murdered. I ask the jury, in all your wisdom, to acquit the accused of murder and throw the case out of court.”

Half an hour later the jury came back and the judge asked for the verdict. The foreman stood and said solemnly:

“Guilty my Lord.”

“I thought you said the jurors were intelligent,” the convicted man whispered, quite shocked, as he touched the sleeve of his counsel.

“They are,” said the barrister.

“But they all turned their heads and expected Al to walk through the door,” he argued, bemused.

“Yes they did,” the barrister agreed before adding, “but you didn’t!”