Thanks once again to my funny kid brother, Robert, who, as a small child, once sent a toy aeroplane through our mother’s thick hair and announced with glee, “An aeroplane going through the bush!”
The “Funnies”
Two women called at my door and asked what bread I ate, when I said white they gave me a lecture on the benefits of brown bread for 30 minutes.
I think they were those Hovis Witnesses. (Hovis is a well-known English brand of brown bread.)
After years of research, scientists have discovered what makes women happy.
Nothing.
Just had my water bill of £175 drop on my mat. That’s a lot. Oxfam can supply a whole African village for just £2 a month: time to change supplier I think.
Seven wheelchair athletes have been banned from the Paralympics after they tested positive for WD40 (non-greasy spray on oil).
A mummy covered in chocolate and nuts has been discovered in Egypt ..
Archaeologists believe it may be Pharaoh Rocher… ! (Excellente!)
“IT’S A BOY” I shouted “A BOY, I DON’T BELIEVE IT, IT IS A BOY”
And with tears streaming down my face I swore I’d never visit another Thai Brothel!!!
Two Indian junkies accidentally snorted curry powder instead of cocaine.
Both in hospital…one’s in a korma.. The other’s got a dodgy tikka!
Japanese scientists have created a camera with a shutter speed so fast, they can now photograph a woman with her mouth shut.
A boy asks his granny, ‘Have you seen my pills, they were labelled LSD?’
Granny replies, stuff the pills, have you seen the dragons in the kitchen?!
Wife gets naked and asks hubby, ‘What turns you on more, my pretty face or my sexy body?
Hubby looks her up and down and replies, ‘Your sense of humour!
My mate just hired an Eastern European cleaner, took her 15 hours to Hoover the house. Turns out she was a Slovak.
Since the snow came all the wife has done is look through the window. If it gets any worse, I’ll have to let her in.
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Well, they say you’re never too old for a good joke………or was it the other way around?