Just a few minutes ago our friend and neighbour, Ron, called in with two bottles of perfume for me.

“One has never been opened,” said Ron, “I hope you don’t mind but I can’t do with them.”

I understood. The perfumes belonged to Ron’s late wife who passed away two years ago. Naturally, I accepted them, but with some reservations. You see I could not help remembering the occasion, some years back, when I bought a bottle of “Chanel No 5” from a charity shop…

The exterior of the bottle was pristine (if a little dusty) and it was the genuine article;  the bottle was full and it cost five pounds only – for Chanel perfume – what a bargain! However, my excitement waned after I dabbed a spot on my wrist.

“Either Chanel doesn’t smell nice on me, or perfume goes off,” I told Chris, holding my hand up to his nose.

“Essence of magnolia air-freshener in an old-people’s home,” he observed whilst pulling a face.

Our youngest daughter’s eyes opened wide with delight when she arrived home and I offered her the bottle of perfume.(It was to be an early Christmas present.)

“I don’t like Chanel on me, it is far too heavy and sweet for me, but it might be lovely on you,” I suggested (though I suspected otherwise).

“I like sweet perfume,” she answered, hiding any disappointment, “and in any case, it will look good on my dressing table.”

Ron left and I laughed out loud at the memory of the Chanel No 5 (which remained full and adorned my daughter’s dressing table for years).

“What’s so funny?” Chris asked.

“Well, in my experience essence of old perfume doesn’t smell very nice…”

“Oh no, I agree, the essence of old persons isn’t a nice smell,” Chris said very agreeably, (and very absent-mindedly).

“Essence of ‘old persons’? Is that what you thought I said?” I laughed.

Chris is a tad deaf, as you may remember. He laughed too when he realised I was referring to the new, but old, bottles of perfume that Ron brought in as a kind of Christmas present for me.

And what of the perfumes in question? Are they still good? Are they light and fresh? Or do they smell, uncannily, of magnolia air-fresher, in particular, the like of which one comes across in old persons’ homes? Need you ask?