Today it is with thanks to Geoff that I bring you this very funny version of  The Twelve Days of Christmas. Would you believe that, only minutes before I received this, Chris brought home a large turkey crown for our Christmas dinner (and many dinners to follow)?

The Twelve Days of Christmas

On the first day of Christmas my true love said to me
“I’ve bought a farm fresh turkey and a real life Christmas tree.”

On the second day of Christmas much gladness could be heard
As we tucked into our turkey, a most delicious bird.

On the third day of Christmas came the people from next door,
The turkey tasted just as good as it had the day before.

On the fourth day of Christmas our snowman big and bold
Had not much less of body heat than the turkey we ate cold.

On the fifth day of Christmas outside the snowflakes flurried
But we were warm and snug inside, we had our turkey curried.

On the sixth day of Christmas the festive spirit died,
The children fought and bickered as we ate the turkey fried.

On the seventh day of Christmas my true love he did wince
When we sat down to dinner and was offered turkey mince.

On the eighth day of Christmas the dog had run for shelter
He’s seen our turkey pancakes and the glass of Alka-Seltzer.

On the ninth day of Christmas the menu was a lotto.
That turkey beast was back again, its carcase now risotto.

On the tenth day of Christmas we were drinking ginger brew
We needed something hot and strong to wash down turkey stew.

On the eleventh day of Christmas a winter wind was gusting
With chilli, soy and oyster sauce the turkey was disgusting.

On the twelfth day of Christmas we had smiles upon our lips
The guests had gone, the turkey too, we dined on . . . fish and chips!