As you know, I’m nearly always on a diet, at least I always start off on a diet. At present I am in earnest – a holiday is coming up and I’m afraid I won’t get into my favourite shorts if I don’t take drastic measures. Well, I became fed up with porridge every day a long long time ago; then I tried “Bran Flakes” – they tasted like cardboard and glue, but they made a change; now I’m on “All Bran”.I find that “All Bran” is less like what you might find in a horse’s nosebag when it is mixed with piping hot milk and left to stand for a few minutes to make it soft.

This morning Chris eyed my breakfast of hot, liquid bran, and he pulled a face of disdain.

“I don’t know how you can eat it,” he said.

“It’s much nicer than porridge,” I answered.

“I bet you would prefer it if it was ‘All Brad’,” he added (or Bradded).

“Of course,” I smiled gleefully, and for a moment or two I relished the thought of having Brad Pitt for breakfast.