Dear Henry, Clint, Harrison, Mel and Brad,

Please excuse me for not writing to you individually by hand, but I don’t have your addresses, and I know that even this is a bit of a long shot; nevertheless, I’m hoping that at least one of you reads my blog every day by now (I have been at it for around four months!); and please don’t be offended by the order of your names – it doesn’t mean I like any one of you less than an another – I simply thought it would be more respectful to begin with the eldest and continue in chronological order. Well, I had better tell you why I’m writing to you, but first, let me say that it has nothing to do with money, I’m above that – this comes from a woman artist (accustomed to starving) who waives her fees for public speaking at the Havana Club, Dawlish – and I trust you have the same disregard for filthy lucre.

I am writing to you because I’m in a bit of a spot; you see, I belong to this bookclub in Teignmouth (down in Devon, the South West of England – you may know it already – Goldie Hawn is a regular, not to our Bookworms club, but to the area), and last month our gorgeous leader, Reuben, suggested that each of us bring a new member to the next meeting at 4.30pm Sunday 27th October, only a fortnight away. I have asked my husband if he will be my new member/guest but he has refused point blank. I asked him if there was any way that I could induce him to change his mind and he replied, “Only if Goldie Hawn makes an appearance!” Now if any of you lovely chaps are on friendly terms with Goldie you could put a word in for our little diminishing group of bookworms… However, perhaps that’s not such a good idea because we already have more female bookworms than males (owing to the charisma of our leader, no doubt) and the majority of the group would definitely prefer more male bookworms.

In case you’re wondering, I don’t think anyone will think the worse of you if you turn up without having read this month’s book – few of us will have had time to read it either; in fact, I haven’t finished reading “A Tale of Two Cities” yet (much as I love it) and I had to put that on hold in order to read  the Kindle free sample of “Atlas Shrugged”, our latest tome, while I waited for the local library to send out to Tiverton for my copy, which I collected yesterday. In truth, I’m only halfway through the free sample – imagine my dismay when I found that the paperback version has nearly 1,200 pages of extremely small print! So, no worries, hardly anybody will have finished it and I can fill you in with a synopsis (which I will read the day before the meeting). I bet you have read it already Henry. What do you think about Ayn Rand’s philosophy of the individual first? (Or greed, as most people call it.)

Accommodation is no problem, you can stay the night, or a week – yes, make a free holiday of it if you wish. Mel, if you decide to come I hope you won’t be leading Chris astray and taking him down the pub all the time – better to stay in and reminisce about Australia with me. Sorry, Brad, but the group doesn’t encourage members to bring their wives and many kids along – they are far too distracting (Chris says to bring Angelina but leave the kids with Nanny). And Clint, did you know I’ve written a couple of books myself? Harrison, I hope you will be able to tear yourself away from the jungle, or wherever you are filming at present, to be with us in a fortnight. Please come.

Your fellow bookworm (hopefully),

Sallyxxxxx